THE PARADOX OF EFFORTLESS CHANGE
We can only truly change when we fully accept ourselves as we are right now; flaws, imperfections, doubts and all.A true painter uses the canvas they are given; theywill not wait for the perfect canvas to begin.The art must happen now.
You want the perfect partner? The perfect mother or father? The perfect boss? The perfect body? The perfect feelings? The perfect enlightenment? The perfect life?How about deeply accepting what is here, right now? How about deeply accepting others, as theyactually are? How about bowing to the energies that are alive, dignifying the place where you stand?A strange place to start, admittedly. Sounds a little, er, back-to-front. Like giving up. Like settling for less than you deserve. Like weakness.
A self-indulgent pity party. Getting lost in the mud.But wait.Is acceptance of 'what is' the same as giving up on the possibility of change? Actually, no.Does acceptance mean tolerating or "putting up with" difficult feelings? Does it mean blindly following violent impulses? Not at all.Does acceptance mean becoming detached and passive, turning a blind eye to the violence in the world, letting others walk all over us and our loved ones? No.Does acceptance mean playing a false role, the role of the "very spiritually evolved, deeply accepting, utterly peaceful person"? No.
Acceptance is not a role, and it's not personal.Deep acceptance means aligning with the way things actually are. It means staring life in the face, right now. It means turning towards what is here, what has been given, the actual canvas. It means letting go of false hopes and dreams and awakening to what is really true. It means ending the war, seeing through the illusion of a 'self' separate from this mysterious movement of life.
It means saying yes to the present scene of the movie, even if it isn't the scene you'd planned or hoped for.It is the supreme paradox, that out of a deep and uncompromising acceptance of this seemingly 'imperfect' moment, truly creative and intelligent and surprisingly effortless change can happen. Because you're no longer at war, and you're open to possibility, and you're fully alive.
You've nourished and fertilised the ground with loving attention and slowness, and now something new and beautiful can emerge.The mind was never in charge of change, anyway.And the ground was always trustable.
- Jeff Foster
