THE EVER-CRUMBLING EDGE
Love is not something you find, for if you can find love, you can lose it. If it can be given, it can be taken away, and you end up fearing love as much as you long for it, because you have made it into a‘thing’, a form, a commodity, something far from yourself, something you have to win, or deserve, or be ‘good enough’ to be given.
Throw away your unworthiness today; love is not a prize.Love is not your ideas about ‘love’; love cannot be stolen by thought. All of your beautiful concepts are too small, or too second hand, or toountested. Throw out your ideas; let them burn in the fire of presence. Have the courage to find out what love actually is for you, even if this means tasting ridicule and rejection, and sinking ever more deeply into your aloneness, so deeply that you may never return.
Friend, you never have to leave yourself to reach another, for you carry every ‘other’ in your own heart. And the more connected you are with your breath, with the earth and with your weight, with your joy and with your sorrow, with your preciousaloneness and the slowness of time, the less you need to abandon yourself for connection, and the more intimate you feel, without even trying; so that your aloneness becomes your way of meeting this world, and your loneliness breaks open into each new morning, held in a fresh awareness unbound by guilt.
You have reached the world by reaching ever more deeply into your centre; there was no centre,but there was a world. You pulled the sky out from your heart, and the oceans sprung from deepwithin your belly.
So play, rest, laugh, weep, fall to the ground, and think of all the good things youhave been given; the day has laid herself bare in front of you.Something ancient stirs now, and it is joy.
- Jeff Foster
